Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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