Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
