SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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