He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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