Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
