the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
