every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
