Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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