I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
