WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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