i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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