Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
