It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't deserve a penis
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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