You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
