i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
