I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
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He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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