a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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