To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i love accidental penises.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
