THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize