can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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