i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
