I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
