you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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