The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
