Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
