I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
