His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
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You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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