So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Randomize
