He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
