Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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