im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
