I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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