So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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