no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
