dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
