When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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