So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs