Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting