hell yes lets make some ravioli
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.