the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
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I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"