the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
