i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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