Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
