Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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