just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Everyone says I win the strip club
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize