Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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