Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
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If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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