dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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