Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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