what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
