So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
and she was petting her beer can
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
