your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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