If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
