So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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