i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
