she was so not down for the gang bang
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
