I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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