I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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