alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
