How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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