who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
